Hey Sundy Besters! (It’s Monday, we know. We’re sorry).
First of all, let us say that we once again find ourselves in a position where being funny feels inappropriate and challenging, even for the CHO (Corey is the Chief Hittin’ Officer). Our country has suffered terrible tragedy once again last week with the unnecessary deaths and senseless shootings of both civilians and policemen. Not real sure what we have got to do to put a stop to all this, but it damn sure ain’t more hate and more guns… just can’t be.
To all police officers: stop treating black people like criminals… they are not all thugs… and they are not a threat to you. If you can’t understand that, go work somewhere else – you aren’t fit to be a cop. We love this video by Officer Nakia Jones, please take time to watch and share: Realest Officer In The Game
Also, this is a FB post by Drew, who if you don’t know, used to be a Public Defender:
To all people: Black lives matter.
To everyone upset right now: being open minded goes both ways… not all cops are racist assholes who want to shoot you. It’s totally understandable to be upset, but if that’s how you treat all police, you are essentially guilty of the same kind of narrow-minded assery that you accuse them of. Stop that.
We have got to get better, folks. It starts with each of us individually. Hell, treat everyone like you’d treat your momma. That ourt work.
OK…. Now on to something a bit lighter…
THIS WEEK WAS AWESOME!!!!!!
We’ve been traveling around this great country for the better part of a decade, hocking jokes in dingy bars and dreaming of the day we would all be able to tour together. We dreamed of performing for our own fans and being paid enough to afford more than a double cheeseburger split three ways (do NOT let CoFo do the splitting if you want your fair shake).
This past week’s leg of the tour landed us in in 4 great southern cities:
Asheville, NC – New Mountain Asheville
Charlotte, NC – The Warehouse Theater
Raleigh, NC – The Pour House
Chattanooga, TN – The Comedy Catch
As per usual (our new usual), wellRED fans did not disappoint… we cannot stress to you enough how great our fans are individually and collectively. We met people who drove several hours to see us. We met people who were seated together at tables and became new friends. We had offers to come to a mini-horse farm (thank you, Tara) and hundreds of messages offering home cooked meals, BBQ and places to stay. Our fans roll cans of pork and beans at us during the show, they make us custom t-shirt designs, and hell… sometimes they bring us fried chicken! We have posed for hundreds of pictures after shows, drank way too many free drinks and none of that love is lost on any of us. We love you all back so very much.
Love is what we ourt be talking about right now… cause that’s the only thing gonna keep us sane in these insane times we are living. Assholes be ware, love is free and it’s everywhere. See, we have had a lot of people curious at the fact that we are doing shows in North Carolina this year due to our collective stance on some of their awful and discriminatory laws, several of which passed just this year. While we understand where you are coming from we know that love is free and it’s the only cure for assholes. When Springsteen decided to cancel shows in NC and a lot of other famous artists followed suit, it made a statement. A statement that needed to be made: Hittin’ ass people do not support your backwards ass bathroom laws ya crazy fuckheads.
And neither do we, but one thing we also don’t support is the notion that a couple of assholes represent an entire group of people. I mean, that’s KIND OF what this tour is all about… ya know? We are attempting to prove that every southerner is not some Mt. Dew swilling, child-beating, fried-food-eating (Ok, but on occasion Hell yeah) toothless sumbitch. So it would be pretty hypocritical of us to deny North Carolina some fun ass shows on account of a bunch of old white assholes who are scared of everything that isn’t old and white.
If the hundreds of people we’ve met this week are any indication, discrimination is definitely NOT heralded as a unanimous practice in The Tar Heel State. Add that to the fact that they have some of the most choice BBQ in the country and , well, some of y’all need to reconsider your stance on these folk.
Night 1- Asheville – New Mountain
It was insane to have to sold out shows in one of our favorite cities, especially since we were just there not even 6 weeks ago. Thanks to our buddy Jeff Messer at iHeart Radio, we once again got to screw around on his radio show. If you are reading this blog carefully, you should listen to Jeff’s show where we give fans the tip off to an upcoming big announcement:
Corey’s girlfriend and Drew’s wife came out to help us sell merch and otherwise prove to everyone that we are some of the luckiest idiots on the planet. We ate brunch twice, went to a sweet dance club and listened to EDM whilst drinking PBR – just so we could stay red. An all around swell time… shows hit too. Thanks Matteo, Auburn and the whole crew at New Mountain.
Night 2- Charlotte – The Warehouse
We quickly sold out two shows in a small new theater in Cornelius called the Warehouse. Thanks to Bob Maier, the shows were off the chain and we met some super cool people. Including Patrick Hardin, a fan who designed the Carny Handed Mango Man graphic we are now selling as a shirt. Wish we could have played for more people, so definitely looking to come back soon!
Night 3 – Raleigh- The Pourhouse
Can’t say enough good things about this sweet ass rock hall. They really know how to have a good time in Raleigh. We all genuinely felt like rock stars. From the staff to the fans to the great beer, it couldn’t have been a better experience. Thank you Adam and all the truly supportive fans in Raleigh – we are working on dates to come back before the end of the year.
We also got to spend the day eating fried chicken and swimming with a bunch of good buddies and business partners in Raleigh, so it was hard to drag our asses to the show. Trae was passed out in the kitchen an hour before the performance.
Night 4- Chattanooga- The Comedy Catch
This one was an especially awesome night for us. The Comedy Catch is where CoFo started doing comedy over a decade ago (yes, he was sneaking in when he was 16). The Comedy Catch is also the place where all 3 of us really became friends. Performing two sold out shows in their brand new room in front of family and friends was truly something none of us will ever forget.
Love each other, Y’all – it’s the only way to make this world a better place for everrrybody. We’ll see ya out there on the road.
Lots of new dates added to the tour and even more + BIG news on July 15th:
17 thoughts on “LOVE: The Rx for Assholes”
I know of no other way to say how I feel about you guys and what you’re doing and what you represent other than I love y’all and keep up the good, humorous, intelligent, stereotypefighting- work. Also, come to Louisiana.
Once again, pure insight and inspiration from youse guys. Keep up the good work. And bring your good work to Texas, heah?
Y’all are doing good things! You guys speak for the people who are constituents NOT being represenfed, regardless of how we vofe. As a fan in Huntsville, AL, I salute you!…keep gettin’ your red up!
Represented, and vote fat fingers strikes again!
Thanks for coming to Chattanooga, Trae!
The folks at our table all agreed that we would have listened to you for another hour, if you would have kept talking! Congrats on your success and keep spreading such important, timely messages in such a funny-as-hell way! May you never have to go back to the day jobs! As a self-unemployed storyteller and writer, I understand how great it must feel to be out there doing what you do and feeling the love (and the paychecks) in return! Again, keep it up!
All the best, Jim
I sure wish you’d bring some of that Southern greatness and humor to Charleston, SC. The Southerners that are left here sure would show you true Southern hospitality and maybe these yankees here would “get it”.
Hey guys- if you ever come to Tulsa, we have a guest suite with a king room and a double and private bath. And a salt water pool. We usually put up itinerant touring musicians, but would welcome you as well. We know you are working, and aren’t here to be our special entertainment, but if you are here when it’s meal time, we’ll feed you. And if you’re not, we’ll show you where all the food is. You rock!
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You guys are so real. We had such a great time seeing you in Raliegh, N. C. We drove 3 + hours from Roanoke, Va. (& would do it again in a heartbeat) to see you. We laughed from the moment you all came on stage until we walked out the door, still laughing as we walked back to our hotel & still laughing the whole way home as we remembered some of the most hilarious things you guys said. You each have your own unique personalities & style, while you all work together so well, to bring us a fabulous show. Thank you so much. Hope to see you guys again. You are on fire. Enjoy your journey. It’s not close to being over. Best wishes for a very long & awesome ride.
Brenda & Steve
Yesterday was a really shitty day. Bad things happening to people I love and not a thing I could do about it. Then, I got notification that ya’ll are coming to Ft. Lauderdale to the Hard Rock in October, so I hopped right online and booked a room and bought tickets. Something for this hillbilly liberal bitch to anticipate! Thank you for speaking for our silent majority!!
Please come to Southern California, I don’t care where, I will be there!
Please come to the Horseshoe Casino in Hammond Indiana, seein’s how Indiana is the South of the Midwest!
How about Portland Oregon next? Or maybe at one of the casinos on the beach so you can soak up that gorgeous pascific air. I’d be happy to show you around.
Come to London and I will personally ensure you have fans, free beer and as much fried chicken as you can insert sideways.
Well I will certainly inform our manager because believe me, we’d love to be in London.
Lots of Appalachian transplants here in Denver, CO too – y’all come! We have a big house and love to cook 😉
This Patrick Hardin guy sounds like he’s probably very handsome and cool. Btw, when are y’all (y’uns) coming to Greenville, SC?
Where can I get one of those Carny Handed Mango Man t-shirts? No kidding, earlier tonight I was buying gas and was standing behind someone with a t-shirt that said “Trump- Finally a candidate with balls!”
I’m not some Vassar freshman who needs “trigger warnings,” but things like that remind me that I am the minority in the South, and this perfectly affable guy is definately not my friend…